Random Thoughts (2) Food Precision

I like food.  I have fairly sensitive tastes.  I hate being lied to about what is set in front of me.  Specially, I have issues with the following list of foods:

  • Margarine is not butter and can never be.  So do not pretend otherwise.  Margarine has its place and in that niche butter is a poor substitute.  (There is trick to making cookies that involves mixing the butter and the margarine.)
  • Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise so do not pretend otherwise.
  • A hamburger is a sandwich made in the style of Hamburg as defined by a pair of brothers in a stall at the Hamburg World’s Fair, specifically a bun or roll with a cooked beef sausage patty (13% fat by weight).  It has nothing else in the patty, no onion, no bread crumbs, no eggs, no horse meat, no ham, ….
  • Pesto is a puree of basil, pine nuts, Parmesan cheese, garlic, and olive oil.  Do not pretend you are free to use parsley instead of basil, nor cashews for pine nuts, nor some other hard cheese.  Do not pretend that you can add sun dried tomatoes.  You can make all sorts of purees but they are not pesto.
  • Ketchup (or catsup) is not tomato sauce.  That condiment should have lots of vinegar in it, and then I would not want it on my pasta.
  • Blancmange is not custard.  Custard is made with eggs; mock custard is made with corn (maize) starch.
  • Red tea is not tea.
  • Pepsi is not Coke (I have always been able to tell them apart).

I am well aware that there are plenty of people with food allergies, and I believe that things should be properly labelled for them. I refuse to limit my diet to match their handicap. Do not confuse things with imprecise labels. If you want to help those with an intolerance for eggs, then make some products with “mock custard”; leaving out the “mock” only makes them more at risk from exposure to the real thing.

I do not appreciate people attempting to protect me from problems I do not have. Do not ever try to take away my sugar, my caffeine, my gluten, my eggs, my alcohol, my meat, my pork, my lactose, etc.  I want my caesar salad made with raw eggs. I want my steak tartare made with raw beef. I want my sushi made with raw fish (or not as is appropriate to the variety).

I want to re-experience culinary treats that I have grown fond of.  You offend me when you lie about what you are serving.